here comes the Bride

Here Comes the Bride…

Etc etc

You probably got scared when you read the above title, and thought Boyce voice was taking over from “Dear Christine” and becoming a marriage counselor.
But for the edification of readers female especially, I thought I would blog about the perceptions men have of marriage in contrast to women’s.

For women the entire concept of marriage is an event of great jollification and jubilation, for men its apprehension and uncertainty.

The difference starts from the engagement.
When a woman gets engaged its joy joy joy to the world for both her and her girlfriends are excited too “lemme see the ring” they exclaim “ooh that’s beautiful…it looks expensive!” and they say that like its a good thing.

When a man tells us buddies he is getting married the first response is”oh? are you sure?” and theres the tone of uncertaincy that dominates the conversation, we dont get excited and start jumping up and down.

We don’t view the expensive engagement ring with any great joy either because we have to buy it.
(Why do you need an engagement ring anyway why can’t you just give one wedding ring and call that a day?)

Men’s true perception of marriage is reflected in the nick names they have for the event , “getting hitched” that does not sound like a good thing. on the day of wedding we say our buddy “gine down” today, that term could also be used at a funeral like “gine down” in a hole. You see my point?
The last and most damming proof of a mans perception of marriage is the term his friend is going to get his “neck pop” today, I believe that is what happens when you are hung by the neck untill dead.
I could rest my case here but I wouldn’t.
(Whispering font) Boyce voice will continue more on marriage at a later date, wifey just came in so I must log off before she sees this……

Happy Birthday to Michael Jackson

Happy birthday Happy Birthday

happy Birthday to Michael Jackson

Believe it or not today 29th August is Michael Jackson’s Birthday!

What I find strange is there is no mention of it on the MSN home page, I discovered it reading an obscure article on BBC Mobile.
It does not seem as much attention is being paid to Jackson as say Maddona who celebrated her 50th last week and it was all over the media.
So while the main stream media seems to be ignoring MJ he still has a friend in Boyce Voice we as are heralding his half century birthday achievement.

Lets focus on the positive contributions he has made, his top selling album “Thriller” which sold over 65 million copies world wide according to the Guinness book or records

The 14 minute ground breaking cutting edge “Thriller” video which revolutionized the music video industry.

You know sometimes you meet some one you have not seen for a while and they’ve changed so dramatically you almost don’t recognize them, well Michael happen to change his nose, hair and skin colour as he aged, lets go to some pictures…

Here’s Michael in 1975 in the Jackson Five days, has a really cool afro and thing

Here’s Michael in 1978 releasing “Off the Wall” album

Michael in 1984 with his best Friend “Bubbles” the monkey (Thats where Bubbles from Hott 95.3 got his name from) Bubbles has a matching shirt thats so cute, and thats a big dog! his skin is glowing in a white kind of way

From the 1987 “Bad” tour his skin has changed and so has his nose, the pressures of entertainment do that too you

Michael looks pretty effiminate in this 1995 pic, its like he is going for a white black man woman look, thats what you call targeting all the marketing demographics

Here is Michael on the cover of his 2001 flop album “Invincible” it probably flopped cause people did not recognise him on the cover, its a sort of Peter Pan type bullerish picture

The only thing which has remained constant about MJ is his voice, even at 50 he still talks like a six year old girl…. Here’s the last picture Brace your self its pretty brutal

Ok, so what can you say about this picture aah, well it  definitely would make the girls scream I’ll tell you that, and probably some men as well, plus some little boys.

This was Jacko’s mug shot when he was arrested by the police in 1993, guess the law men didn’t let him put his make up on before they took him, the picture is not pretty and neither were the charges, he looks like he could play the Joker in the next Batman movie.

 About those child molestation accusations which have dogged MJ’s career, it was not helped by his statement “I don’t see any thing wrong with sharing my bed with children”
Normal people frown on that sort of thing Jacko, in fact you are usually put on a sex offenders monitoring list and scorned by the society.
 He is known as The Peter Pan of Pop, Wacko Jacko, The Gloved One. the unforgettable the Michael Jackson, still most known as “The King of Pop”! Happy Birthday to you

Read in the weekend paper of Barbadian sexual entrepreneur Charles Lewis talking about the amount of money you can make in the sex trade.
The figures caught my interest; I was thinking I was in the wrong entertainment business.
Charles boasted how a sex worker can make $500 per hour, let’s do the sexual math.
Put that into a working day, that’s $4000. Let’s say you only work 5 days (or nights) you still go to church on Sunday and spend a day with the family you still generate $20,000 in one week.
In a month that’s $80,000 you could make, let me repeat in words so you get it, eighty thousand dollars Barbados Dollarsin one month. Since I am not doing the Madd thing any more I could see that working for me..
Lewis stated that he had been in the sex trade for 25 years and it had been so lucrative that it had been hard for him to leave it, I don’t blame him for 25 years I have been telling jokes talking bout I is a comedian, the joke was on me, whoring is where the money is. No wonder it is known as the “oldest profession” and has been around for thousands of years

Charles spoke about his efforts to have the sex industry recognized as a legitimate profession; soon they’ll be no shame in aspiring to be a prostitute. You should soon be able to have evening classes in whoring-ism to make you good at it. (I would probably have to take one of those refresher courses)
Why bury your head in the sand and pretend sex tourism does not exist when you could be involved and be burying your head other places, finding other revenue generation activities you can do with your “head”.
For $80,000 per month I would take a stab at it at this whore thing, wouldn’t you? or I could get a couple of girls together and become  a sexual entrepreneur like Charles and join the Barbados Chamber of Commerce and thing.

Using Eddie Murphy’s 80’s sketch as inspiration a sex worker ad would probably read like this….

How would you like to make thousands of dollars with out leaving the comfort of your bedroom?

How would you like to meet new people and make new friends every night…?

This is your chance to make thousands of dollars for doing something you LIKE….

Why do it for free when you could do it and get paid for it?

Your chance to be somebody…

Be a Whore!…..

Sign up now at www.beawhore.com

Now if your girl friend catches you in the act you can now exclaim “what’s with you girl? can’t you see I am working!!”

 or “She meant nothing to me it was just work”…

I could just go on like this all day, I need to stop ….

“I do agree, however, that there are certain Crop-Over events which lend themselves to this sort of partnering. Cohobblopot is one good example of this, and it is certainly my hope that next year we can have enough time to invite tenders for the staging of this potentially lucrative event.” Quote from Minister of Culture Steve Blackett at 2008 Crop Over Awards Ceremony

Yeah right, where have we heard that before..

While the Ministry of culture speaks of out sourcing Cohobblopot their words and actions don’t add up.

Not taking into consideration their failure to operate above board as it relates to entertaining bids for the Cohobblopot this year, at the launching of the same event it was stated by the cultural administrators they had a 3 year plan for organising the event. That does not correspond to the minister’s statement they intend to out source it.

The question will be asked why would the government give up an event that is profitable when it can generate revenue for it self at the expense of private promoters.
While from the outside cohobblopot 2008 appeared to be successful the question must be asked will that “success” equate to profits?  
We have been hearing of excessive sums of monies that were spent including those on regional and international acts.
We have been hearing how $40,000 was paid to Brian Lara to host the VIP area at the event plus a commission from the door, When it came to Cohobblopot 2008 the regional people can’t complain at all.
All the pay outs kick backs and expenses that we have been hearing about we await to see in the final analysis exactly how profitable Cohobblopot really will be.
As for the minister’s statement of privatisation, with out action behind them they remain mere empty words, lacking in credibility, sincerity or legitimacy.

The B in Batman does not stand for bakes…

I learnt that the hard way when I went in de theatre this week, or for international readers I went to the cinema, here in Barbados we call going to the cinema going in de theater (or theatha).   
But I digress, back to my point.
I went to the Olympus cinema concession snack bar before and decided to take a chance and order my favorite bajan snack,
So I gave my order to the cute female attendant  “I would like to have a large pop corn a small coke and ……ahm  3 bakes!…” 

“3 wha?” the attendant exclaimed looking at me like I was the joker in the Batman movie I was going to see. 

“Bakes” I responded “B.A.K.E.S bakes” I spelt it out for her so it would be crystal clear what I desired.

“I am sorry sir we don’t sell bakes here, do you want a hot dog or some Nachos?”.

I don’t even know what the ass is a nacho, I did feel like cursing she and introducing her to a Bajan word that starts with “R”, but I controlled my self.

“I don’t want no stinking nachos” I retorted “ I want bakes!
by this time my sons who I had taken to the cinema had move away not wanting to be associated with my vociferous bake behaviour.
I contemplated asking to see the manager but by this time I could see security beginning assemble around me, I did not get the impression they were there for to assist me in my ordering.

 So I had a decision to make…
The question I asked my self was, should I stand up for my bake principles risked being unceremoniously thrown out the cinema not seeing Batman, being disowned by my sons rebuked by my Christian wife or should I eat the stinking Americanized snack like a wimp….?    

Well I gotta tell yuh, the hot dog went down pretty good, and the coca cola too. 
I put extra bajan pepper sauce on it to Barbadianise it…

That’s how I discovered the B in Batman does not stand for bakes!

Boyce Gripe;I think we have a serious cultural problem when you go to the concession at the movies and can’t get a Bajan snack.
Yuh cant get a glass of mauby just bare fizzy drinks mashing up yuh stomach and giving yuh ulcers.
You can’t get a cheese cutter, years ago I remember buying cheese cutters in the Bridgetown Olympic cinema, dem days done!
They now even now selling Chinese food in the Olympus like we in BEJING, but yuh can’t get a bake.
That’s why so much of we Bajans talking like Americans because of all the American food we eating.
It is because of all the American and Chinese food they keep forcing on us that are making us lose our cultural identity and run slow and got the West Indies can’t win at Cricket. This is a matter that needs to be addressed with utmost bake-ency!

Why so serious?
Put a smile on that face…
That one of the blurbs to the latest Batman flick “The Dark Knight” and that’s exactly what the movie does; it puts a smile on your face in a Gothic kind of way, compliments of Heath Ledger who does a brilliantly evil personification of the joker. It is to die for…
“The Dark knight” puts the other Batman Movies in the shade; the concept has stepped up a notch above the simplistic comic book plots utilised before.
The plot has twists, turns, and surprises, Watch out for the appearance of the gruesome “two face” character and how he becomes villain number two of the movie.

The star of the movie is not Christian Bale as the Batman, Yes he is the Dark Knight, but he is over shadowed by Heath’s ghoulish Joker.
The joker is tight! Check out his pencil disappearing trick,  this morbidly humorous clown is really effective.  Some how he manages to inject a comical flair into evil deeds like blowing up a hospital. The Joker’s make up is intriguingly imperfect and it adds to his ghoulish mystique.

Maybe what makes the joker so brilliantly fascinating is the knowledge that since Ledger died just before the movie’s release, there would be no sequel to his performance.
Did you see Heath’s in the controversially gay “Broke Back Mountain”? I didn’t, from what I heard about the movie it did not sound like something I could stomach. Therefore my first introduction to ledger as an actor turns out to be his farewell performance, as the joker in the Dark Knight…

Why so serious? put a smile on that face…. Go out and see “The Dark Knight”

A Beautiful Bajan Bake 

Greasy Bakes??! Greasy Bakes??!
I could not believe my eyes when I read jdid’s
comment yesterday.
First of all let me say I had always intended to use Usain Bolt’s love of Yams to lead into an endorsement promo blog for bakes, I could not believe when Jdid preempted me not just by mentioning bakes but mentioning them negatively It is because of people like Jdid that Bajans can’t get no way! Jdid if you are reading this log off now… In fact anybody who does not like bakes should log off Boyce Voice and don’t come back! Anti Bake attitudes will not be tolerated!

They are people out there professing to be Bajans masquerading as Bajans but are really Bajan wanna be’s.
People who though born in Barbados show extreme anti Bajan tendencies. That is why we now have a national event like Cohbbblopot that now featuring American rappers.
because of people who lack cultural culinary loyalty.
Tomorrow I will continue with the second part of my Bake discourse that was so rudely interrupted by the bagel and ham n eggs eaters among us…
In the mean time I rebuke you in the name of the bakes and bun fire pun all bake haters!
..

Usain the Yam eater

What did you eat for breakfast this morning?
If you did not eat yams then you did not eat the breakfast of champions.
That’s what the fastest man in the world Jamaican Usain Bolt eats that according to him helped him to win the 100m race in 9.69 seconds in the Beijing.
Yams Dumplings and Green Bananas to be precise is the breakfast that Usain eats that gives him that incredible speed.
Usain’s secret is not Powerade, nor Gatorade nor Monsta nor Red Bull! He does not take Ginseng or no Vitamin B injections.
  Usain is proud and strong Jamaican YAM EATER.

So back to you, what did you eat for breakfast? Did you eat scrambled eggs, bacon and hot dogs?
You should be shame…… 
People like you make me sick; you have been ignoring good old fashion “ground provisions’ and eating all sorts of processed food.
When was the last time you eat piece of green bananas? When was the last time you eat a dumpling? Do you even know what a dumpling is?
Some of you have not eating been eating breakfast home but not waiting till u get work and having coffee and bagels and doughnuts and all sorts of igrunt food.
That why you can’t run to save your life… stop reading this now get up from your computer run out in the road and come back…..!

See how out of breath you are? That’s all the bagels, egg yolks and pork bacon keeping you back, choking your heart.
You need to start eating Yams, Dumplings and Green Bananas. You letting the Americans fool you into buying all their commercialized processed health products and ignoring our indigenous Caribbean roots. Its time to reverse that process, Eat a Yam today, Run fast tomorrow!
If it’s good enough for Usain Bolt it is good enough for you!

Picture of Yam and Sweet patato for people who play them aint know

Woman digging Yams, the exercise of harvesting them alone will make you fit….

Boyce Note: Be carefull with the Yam eating as it is not good to increase your speed at every thing… if you know what i mean… A word to the wise is enough

Ayana John Winner of $5000 Got Rhythm Competition 

The GotRhythm.com eSoca Competition 2008 came to an end at mid-night August 8th. Congratulations to Ayana John for winning the inaugural competition with Kimberley Inniss in 2nd place and newcomers Rhea & JayCee in third. The order is as follow:

             Song                                          Artist      Prize
1.          Just The Way                          Ayana John         $5000
2.          Merry Go Round feat. Alicia    Kimberley Inniss     $2500
3.          Handle It feat JayCee             Rhea          $1250
4.          Nah Missin Meh                       Edwin Yearwood       
5.          Wrong Gal                                RPB
6.          Show Me                                   Kirk Brown       
7.          Dat Is What I Talkin’ Bout       Andy Armstrong (Blood)       
8.          In a Party Mood                        Hypa Soundz       
9.          Big Girls                                   Biggie Irie       
10.        Baby Oh Baby                          Adrian Clarke       

The producer of the winning song is Darron Grant and he will receive $1000.The customer who purchased the most downloads is Jackie Clarke with 428 downloads and she will receive a Video Camcorder. This competition attracted customers from Trinidad & Tobago, United Kingdom, United States, Canada and Japan. Special mention must be made of Ikeda Kiyotaka (Kanagawa Japan) who purchased 80 downloads and was leading the customer download competition for over one month and was only passed during the last few days of competition.

The awards will be presented at The VIP Party, which will be held at Café Jungles in The Gap on August 30th. There will be performances by several Top 10 artists. Additionally all eSoca customers are eligible to enter the customer draw for a Blackberry Smartphone, Digital Camera and an MP3 player, which will be held at the VIP Party.

The eSoca competition ran from May 22nd – August 8th 2008, and a total of 189 songs from 126 artists were entered mostly from Barbados but there were entries from United Kingdom, Trinidad & Tobago and Jamaica. The winners were determined based on the number of songs purchased from GotRhythm.com. This competition is the first of it’s kind and Got Rhythm Inc. will present similar online competitions in other regional territories. The next eSoca competition is scheduled to kickoff in November and will be centered around T&T Carnival 2009. GotRhythm Inc. intends to continue to use technology in innovative ways to promote the music and art of the region by making it easily accessible to local, regional and international customers, in a manner that provides tangible revenue streams to artists and music producers.

Boyce note;Congrats to all the winners of the Got Rhythm from Boyce Voice!

Ayana please remember I was always a fan of yours and Darron Grant as administrator of Boyce Voice we are partners in any money prizes u benefit from..

Congrats to Got Rhythm management in orgainising this innovative competition to spruce up interest in their site and encourage more download sales…

As a collector of movies I have became quite concerned with this new format I now hear about movies now available in Blu Ray. Let me expand.
I started collecting movies from back in the 80’s so I have quite a collection of movies on the old VHS video tape format. All legitimate mind you, there’s no place for pirate copies in my collection. For those of you who don’t know what a VHS tape looks like, look at this….

So on VHS I have titles like Terminator 1 & 2, First Blood, There’s Something About Mary, Bowfinger, Face Off, Blues Brothers and more, like over 30 movies which for Barbados is quite a collection.

Then in the 90’s something came along called DVD Format, so then I had to switch to movies in this new improved format, had to buy a DVD machine then starting with the “Matrix” some of the same movies I had on the old VHS I had to re-purchase on the improved digitized DVDs albeit with extra features.

            My “Matrix DVD

So now I have quite a collection of DVD movies and feeling good, now I hearing bout something called Blu Ray. What the ass is Blu Ray now?  Now do I have to get a new Blu Ray machine and change my movie format again? Cheese on Bread!
I went checking up on this new Blu Ray Crap and here’s what I found….

Blu-ray, also known as Blu-ray Disc (BD), is the name of a next-generation optical disc format jointly developed by the Blu-ray Disc Association (BDA), a group of the world’s leading consumer electronics, personal computer and media manufacturers (including Apple, Dell, Hitachi, HP, JVC, LG, Mitsubishi, Panasonic, Pioneer, Philips, Samsung, Sharp, Sony, TDK and Thomson). The format was developed to enable recording, rewriting and playback of high-definition video (HD), as well as storing large amounts of data. The format offers more than five times the storage capacity of traditional DVDs and can hold up to 25GB on a single-layer disc and 50GB on a dual-layer disc. This extra capacity combined with the use of advanced video and audio codecs will offer consumers an unprecedented HD experience.

I think for the time being I will skip that new HD experience; you could go bankrupt trying to keep up with technology. I think we should all make a stand and stick with the DVD format till we die, it’s cheaper…