Some years ago I wrote a blogged a piece entitled “I want to Kick a Nation Photographer” but have u seen photographers recently? They don’t look like sweet breads. Then I was saying maybe I will wait till I see my FB (Face Book) friend photographer Cherie Pitt and try something, when the thing fracas happened with the Police I realized Cherie would probably have given me a run for my money too.

I see now in the news the footage of Rap Star Kanye West attacking a photographer and smashing his camera at an airport and I am again motivated.

My Facebook friend Dawn commented on it, the sentiment was “people spend their lives and do anything to get before cameras and get popular then when they are big they grab photographers and smash the same cameras,

Maybe Peter Boyce falls under that category, back in the 80’s I went out of my way to get in the papers, when I finally got a little write up in the advocate I was so excited I treasured it for weeks. Now sometimes I look in the paper and sometimes curse when seeing articles about me, usually my bad days start with an early phone call saying “u see what is in the paper about u today?” 

I would dearly love to smash a camera, is just I feel the photographer would drive some cuffs in my ass and make me pay for it. One of these days when I will meet a small photographer and smash his camera, or wait until I see a lady photographer and “Chris Brown” her camera.

The last picture of me that was taken was outside the NCF where I went to attend a meeting, that picture was taken by Charles Grant who is Cherie’s father. Now Charles is a very serious looking man, I don’t recall ever seeing him smile, I dread what to think would happen to me if I were to grab his camera and smash it into the ground. You would think reading this I have something against the Grants and photographers but I assure u that could not be further from the truth.

Regardless of your feelings for or against media photographers, one must exercise self control less you end up before the law courts being charged like what is happening to Kayne West right now.

So do not Kayne West any photographers to day….. and dont Chris Brown any women either…..     I could not resist that

Is this a man or a goat?

In light of the news story report of a goat being arrested for armed robbery in Nigeria    http://www.caribnnet.com/Weird-World/12423.html

I think its time we start looking at goats differently.

While they are some that might scoff at the thought at a man transforming himself into a goat as reported in the news, maybe we need to stop and laughing and think for a minute…

How do you know the goat you have in your yard is a real goat and not a man in disguise? 

 Some time ago Barbadian authorities were on the look out for missing Nigerians,  

Did any one notice our goat population seem to increase dramatically after that?

How do you even know the goats we have down here are not Nigerians who have transformed themselves because they don’t want to go back.

While Nigerians might have problems fitting among Barbadians because of their accents as goats they would have no problem.

You might have a woman and you think you are being horned but you can’t catch her with any one, think!!

Is there a goat living by her house?

You might need to go outside and have a conversation with it. Man to goat.

This is a possible man goat who shares horns

This Nigerian goat incident also has international implications, if a goat can commit an armed robbery it could possibly also engage in acts of terror.Don’t let its democratic easy going grass eating demeanor disarm you these animals are lethalIt’s only a matter of time before these

Furry beasts are recruited by El Qaeda to spreadTerror through out the world. If they are not being used already.

I believe an intense study of goats could reveal the answers to questions which we have long searched for, example where is Osama Bin Laden?

For years the United States have been trying to find Osama and have been unable to, is it possible they have been looking for a man when instead they should be looking for a goat?

Have you noticed that in photos Osama has a long beard much like a goat?

Dos’nt that beard look fairly goat like to you?

Now that President Obama has fully taken over this is a matter that should be bought to his attention.

When Obama spoke of “change” was he aware that men could also “change” into goats? Maybe he did!

With the coming of CSME and the possibility that not only Caribbean people but goats will be able to move freely from one territory to a next, we must watch to see what effect this has on our crime rate.

This should be brought to the attention of PM David Thompson as he is now spearheading CSME.It needs to be researched exactly what kind of “grass” the goats down here are into, they could be goats being used as drug mules. This should be brought to the attention of Police Commissioner Darwin Dottin who might not have knowledge of exactly how criminal savy goats have become.

Obviously what is said above would give you reason to be concerned, How can you tell if your goat is really a goat and not a man that change into a goat?

Follow the below instructions;

Grab your goat’s head with both hands!

Put your face right up to the goat’s, if it has trouble maintaining eye contact with you and is acting like it has something to hide, chances are its a man.  

Call the police immediately! 

Do not attempt to apprehend the goat yourself as they can be dangerous and have a tendency to “butt you out of their lives”. 

While a goat above might look innocent like a little kid, remember you can’t judge a goat by its picture,

This has been a public service goat announcement from PBoyce who assures you, he is NOT a goat…..

Women can also turn themselves into goats, and eat you out of house and grass, see above pic

Kingsley Thorne is at it again, as he was not cursed enough because of his first review he is man enough (shut up madman) to release a part 2 to his fashion list.

He made the mistake of stepping on Ian Bourne’s corn and is now being blasted in the Bajan Reporter blog see link below.

http://bajanreporter.blogspot.com/2008/11/barbadian-designer-thinks-two-lottery.html

Now Thorne would know the meaning of “let sleeping dogs lie” not that I am calling Bourne a dog or any thing, he would have to be a cat as that’s his favorite animal.

My PBoyce Half Hour made the grade which by the way is heard every Saturday Morning on Hott 95.3 FM at 9.30. You should tune in its quite hilarious.

With out any further ado heres part 2 of the Thorne List

Beauty Category

Most Sexiest Males (Barry Nicholls, Ray Armstrong, George Pilgrim, Alpha Jackman, Michael Allenby, Russell Ruck)

Sexiest Females (Tracey Archer, Shoran Ward, Betty West, Alison Hinds, Shelly Williams, Jenny Armstrong)

Entertainment Category

Worst Dressed Marketing Manager Female (Ingrid from Krosfyah)

Worst Dressed Marketing Manager Male (Dwayne Gazettes – Jabae)

Worst Dressed Show Coordinator (Kofi Branch) No Females in this Category

Radio Category

Most Talked about Radio Personality

Hurricane, DJ Carlos, Jon Doe, Admiral Nelson, Mark Williams

Worst Radio Presenter (De Azam Boss)

Best 1 HR Programme

De Azam Boss

P Boyce

Guinness Rush Hour

Club Xtreme

Night Club Category

Best Night Club (Taboo, Club Xtreme, Ship Inn, Club NXS)

Best Sunday Lime (Carib Beach Bar, Harbour Lights, Mojo’s)

Catwalk Category

Worst Catwalk Model Female (Amanda Bowen; Male – Chris Goodridge)

Calypso Tents Category

Best Calypso Tent Bacchanal Time

Lowest attended Tent Super Gladiators Roy Byer
Band leaders

Worst Dressed Female Rose-ann Lewis

Male Anwar Mahanadi

 

Band leader of the Year

Richard Haynes BAJE

Power X 4

Betty West

 

Individual Categories

Woman of the year (Mia Mottley)

Man of the year (David Thompson)

Best Dressed Female politician

BLP – Billie Miller

DLP – Maxine McClean

Best Dressed Males

BLP – Noel Lynch

DLP – Richard Sealy

 

Magazine Category

Caribbean Bride

Shebeau

Island Couture

 

Show Category

Best Music Event (The Barbados Music Awards)

Best Pageant (Miss Big & Beautiful)
Pageants in need of improvement

Miss Holetown

Miss Teen Universal

Miss Oistins

Shows that will make you commit suicide or have a coma

Hip Hop Festival

Sprit of the Nation Show

Explosion By Sparkles

Show with a difference (BOUiK-By Toni Thorne)

Models and Agents Category

Most Develop Female Model Julie-ann Durant and Sherry-ann Fung-a-fat

Male Model Raymond Ward and Corrie Goodridge

Model Agency with a Differences (Mystical touch) Troy Arthur-Slaw

News Paper Category

Best Sunday Editorial: (Sheri Holder) Easy

Best Friday Editorial: Nigel Wallace – Hello

Worst and Painful editorial to read on Sunday: (the Social Scene)

MEGA SIX

Worst Dressed Mega 6 Presenter (Ian Bourne) male and female Portia Blackman

Best Dressed: Mark Anthony – Male and Female – Sophia Cambridge

Best MC on Stage Females (Margret Allman-Goddard & Cassandra Crawford)

Male (Wayne “Kool” Simmons & Pearson Bowen)
Ladies Of Class (Lady Stella St John, Marva Manning, Billy Miller, Carol Cadogan-Fox)

Men of Class (Steve Blackett, Bizzy Williams, Ralph Taylor, Ralph Thorne)

Well thats about it

What I was disappointed in is that Boyce did not make the grade for men of class category, I got rassole class I should be in there, felt I would have fit in the beauty category too, I am pretty damn good looking..

Think I will sign off now with my good looking self

Kingsley Thorne ( best dressed designer for 2008 adjudged by Kingsley Thorne)The Best and the worst dressed, the lowest and highest attended show, the most unkempt designer for 2008, its all here in kingsley Thornes historical first Best and Worst listing for 2008.

My name is in here, you should check for yours … Read it in weep and LOL 

Lowest Attended Show- Le Jade Man, Miss Teen Universal
Most Attended Show- BMEX Fashion Extravaganza
Best Show- Absolut Caribbean Fashion Weekend
Worst Show-Le Jade Man
Most Anticipated- Absolut Caribbean Fashion Weekend
Lowest Anticipated- Le Jade Man
Highest Paying-Absolut Caribbean Fashion Weekend
Lowest Paying- Coastal Zone Fashion Show
Best Comedy Show- Laff it off
Best Dressed News Anchor(female)- Belle Holder
Jewel Forde

Cassandra Samuels
Best Dressed News Anchor(male)- Pearson Bowen
Mark Seale
Best Music Videos- Kirk Brown Show Me,
Nah Missing Me by Krosfyah,Tarah Holdipp-All Night
Tackiest Music Videos- Kyiomal Nurse-start the madness
Best Make-Up Artist- Greg Williams
” ” ” ” for runway shows- Adzil Stuart
” ” ” ” for pageants- Lia Gajadhar

Best & Most Dedicated Modeling Agency- GADAL MODEL MANAGEMENT, EBONY MODELS
Agency that produces the most beauty queens- New Horizons
Newest Modeling Agency- SFC Models
Most Talked-About Newspaper- HEAT
Best Dressed Journalists- Alyson Holder

Best dressed photographers- the pitt sisters
Most talked about photographer and video person-Stephanie Chase and Peter Boyce (On face book)
Barbados 4 sexiest female models on and of stage- Zina Gibbs,Michelle Bailey,Kari mccarthy,kenya Hope
Barbados 4 sexiest male models on and of stage-Ramon Dobson,Demitri Bessems,Corrie Goodridge,Andre clarke

Sexiest male vocalist- Kirk Brown, Phillip Seven, Ronnie morris,
Sexiest felmale vocalist- Tarah Holdipp, Tejay, Keanne Walters
Best dressed female designers- pat blackmen, pat brathwaith
Best dressed male designers- Kingsley Thorne, Roland Bascom, Ricky De Jude
Most unkempt Designer male-Rohan Husbands
Most unkempt designer female- pauline bellamy
Best dressed director of modeling agency female- Stephanie Chase
Best dressed director of modeling agency Male- Kingsley Thorne
This is for 2008 iam kingsley thorne @ ebonymodelsgrk@hotmail.com

Boyce Note; Well thats it for now, I gotta tell you I am a bit disappointed I did not make best dressed something or most beautiful or something, but at least I didn’t make unkempt either 

Let’s deviate this morning and talk about something that is not entertaining, Men peeing!
Its getting my ass sick the amount of men you see on a daily basis, who that think nothing of taking their penises out and spraying urine all over the damn place.
All over Barbados you see men peeing behind trees, behind bushes and sometimes behind nothing; they just get out of their cars at the side of the road and let it rip… Somebody should let them know there is no “P” in A.B.C highway.
Some of them act like the have never heard of the term “going to the bathroom” it’s like when they want to go they just go.
Isn’t there a law against exposing yourself in public?  Well the Royal Barbados Police Force needs to enforce it.

I frighten to shake men hands now; do you notice that when the men are finish peeing they just get back in their cars and continue like nothing has happened? What ever happen to the “washing of hands” then they will come pushing their pissy hands for you to shake.

I use to once complain that how come you don’t see women peeing in public places too, exposing their private parts like the men do. I thought it would have been erotic, that was until I saw a woman doing it at out the Garrison Savannah some weeks ago, believe me it wasn’t pretty.
In New York you don’t see men peeing all over the place, is it because the men or biologically different there and can hold their pee? No! It’s because the police would throw your ass into jail and charge you for putting a hole in the ozone layer. Our Bajan Police must take a leaf out of their book and start locking up some urinating offenders so they can pee in the privacy of a jail cell.

Maybe its me, maybe I have an inferiority complex and feel I don’t have anything worthy of waving in public places. But those of you who feel you do bear in mind some of us don’t wish to see “it”.
I am yet to hear a woman say she saw a man peeing at the side of the road and was so impressed she give him her number.
So in pee summary; Men, Stop peeing all over the place! that is what bathrooms are for… speaking of which, I have to go…..

Jerry Lewis makes another anti-gay slur
Oct. 25, 2008, 8:24 AM EST
CANBERRA, Australia (AP) — Jerry Lewis made an anti-gay slur on Australian television similar to one he apologized for using on his annual telethon a year ago.

Caught this just now on MSN.com Jerry Lewis again dropping nasty remarks at gays, but not what this post is about lets us return to the remainder of the news release.

Following a news conference in Sydney Friday, Lewis, 82, was asked by a Network Ten national TV reporter for his opinion on the Australian nation sport of cricket.
“Oh, cricket? It’s a f– game. What are you, nuts?” Lewis replied.
The network broadcast the comment in full on its Friday evening news bulletin along with footage of Lewis handling an imaginary cricket bat with an effeminate gesture.

Now that’s where we need to draw the line Jerry, Dropping remarks at Gays is one thing but when you bring cricket into it that’s where we must draw the line…
Where is the connection between cricket and fags? I think they 82 year old Jerry is going off his rocker or maybe at 82 he needs to stay on his rocking chair and shut to ass up.
And wha is dat about handling a cricket bat with an effeminate gesture… Jerry should be aware that he is treading on a dangerous cricket ground, in the Caribbean it is more known that you must be a fag if you DON’T like cricket.
Allow Boyce to take some time pick Jerry Lewis and the Americans breadfruits which hang pretty damn low..
Is Jerry Lewis aware of the practice in his national game American foot ball of the male players slapping one another on their behinds when they score a touch down? That’s why they wear those tight ass sissy pants when they are playing.

Let’s not even speak on how they call the game foot ball but yet spend the whole time running around with the ball in their hands, and it’s not even a freaking ball it’s some oblong thing. Some body should inform Americans that balls are round.
Isn’t it in the same American football that all the male players jump down on one another in a pile supposedly over a ball, those players lose no opportunity to get in contact with one another in a most gay like manner?

Is Jerry aware that his United States of America has the most fag laws you have ever come across? They are now three states in the U.S where men can marry other men legally, I challenge Lewis to come down here and identify a cricket playing Caribbean territory where Ellen can marry her girlfriend.
Mr. Jerry Lewis I would advise you to stop up in Australia and make your stupid comments if you come down to the Caribbean talking yuh shite holding a bat effeminate to prove your point, next thing one of we beer drinking west Indian cricket fanatics hit yuh round yuh fagging head with the same freaking bat and out yuh lights, yuh *gun see.

Cricket is a Game of glorious uncertainties, one thing for certain, IT IS NOT A FAG GAME!

*Gun is used hear deliberately cause if he is in Jamaica he probably “Gun see” for truth
Some parts of this post were written deliberately in dialect so Americans reading it would not know what I mean but would skin their teeth anyway…

Whoa, Its Raining cats and dogs today, but lets forget the dogs and focus on the cats…

look at that little black pussy cat above, isn’t it cute? who would think that liking a little pussy cat could end you up in before the law courts. 

A cat loving friend of mine catmailed me and asked if for their catty edification if I could republish my “very pussy story” that i did some time ago as these are some very catty times we are living in..

 and in my cat loving eagerness decided to oblige, so click on below link with your paw..

a very pussy story

Once upon a time cats were bitten now they are the “biteys”, above is a pussy cat biting a person’s foot, would you let a cat bite you? you have got to be careful with your foot around a cat

Cats were once very docile creatures now every where you look its a cat attack, here’s a cat attacking a dog, thats quite a cat kick…! must be a kung Fu Cat

Heres a cat slapping another cat, WHAPAX! thats quite a slap for a little cat

The thing is men like cats and women like cats but few people are afraid to say, Ian Bourne is a self confessed cat lover he has even put a picture of it on the web, that’s how much he loves his cat.

I read a news story on the net this week, where a firefighter give mouth to mouth resuscitation to a cat to bring it back to life, afterwards he said, “it tasted like fur!” Now we all know what a cat taste like, unless you knew from before.. did you? maybe the cats got your tongue…

I was talking to 2 female friends recently, and they were lamenting the fact that in the average work place men are paid more money than women for doing the same job.
A woman doing a job with the same qualifications and experience as a man would take home less money, doesn’t that strike you as a tad unfair? Isn’t that like sexual discrimination?

Mention of sex brings me to my Boyce point for today, one profession for sure where women are paid more than men than men is the Porn industry.
Boyce sacrificed all one of his morals and did investigations for you on the subject of how much more women in the porn industry were paid in contrast to men and the difference was a astounding.
The average male porn star gets $300 to $400 a scene or $100 to $200 if he is new, it is even said there are some men who do it for free.
A woman on the other hand gets a whopping $100,000 to $250,000 a year which is pretty damn impressive.

So there are women like Jenna Jameson is a multi millionaire all from porn, Tera Patrick who now owns her own porn company which generates over 30 million dollars per year
Maria Takagi from Japan who makes $86,000 per film and the list of highly paid porn women go on.
And we men get a mere $400 per scene and some even do it FOR FREE. Men reading this should feel like dogs then. I think the fee that a porn man is paid is “hard on” a man considering that he has the “hard” job of maintaining one, and infront of hot lights and cameras, that can’t be easy.
I think the message being sent here is vaginas are worth more than penises so a man taking his clothes off ent saying nothing but a woman? now yuh talking!

I have noticed how ever that the fact that female porn stars are paid more than men is not herald with any great celebration by the feminists of this world, female porn stars have managed to “break the glass ceiling” as it relates to pay and it should be recognized.

Boyce Disclaimer; Do not feel that because I wrote about “be a whore” last week and now “Porn Star Pay” that I am encouraging persons to enter that industry, by all means stick to your 9 to 5  $2000 per month job. you might not be the richest person but a better person

I wanted to put up pictures of porn stars with this but Darron needs to fix my picture upload thing..

here comes the Bride

Here Comes the Bride…

Etc etc

You probably got scared when you read the above title, and thought Boyce voice was taking over from “Dear Christine” and becoming a marriage counselor.
But for the edification of readers female especially, I thought I would blog about the perceptions men have of marriage in contrast to women’s.

For women the entire concept of marriage is an event of great jollification and jubilation, for men its apprehension and uncertainty.

The difference starts from the engagement.
When a woman gets engaged its joy joy joy to the world for both her and her girlfriends are excited too “lemme see the ring” they exclaim “ooh that’s beautiful…it looks expensive!” and they say that like its a good thing.

When a man tells us buddies he is getting married the first response is”oh? are you sure?” and theres the tone of uncertaincy that dominates the conversation, we dont get excited and start jumping up and down.

We don’t view the expensive engagement ring with any great joy either because we have to buy it.
(Why do you need an engagement ring anyway why can’t you just give one wedding ring and call that a day?)

Men’s true perception of marriage is reflected in the nick names they have for the event , “getting hitched” that does not sound like a good thing. on the day of wedding we say our buddy “gine down” today, that term could also be used at a funeral like “gine down” in a hole. You see my point?
The last and most damming proof of a mans perception of marriage is the term his friend is going to get his “neck pop” today, I believe that is what happens when you are hung by the neck untill dead.
I could rest my case here but I wouldn’t.
(Whispering font) Boyce voice will continue more on marriage at a later date, wifey just came in so I must log off before she sees this……

Read in the weekend paper of Barbadian sexual entrepreneur Charles Lewis talking about the amount of money you can make in the sex trade.
The figures caught my interest; I was thinking I was in the wrong entertainment business.
Charles boasted how a sex worker can make $500 per hour, let’s do the sexual math.
Put that into a working day, that’s $4000. Let’s say you only work 5 days (or nights) you still go to church on Sunday and spend a day with the family you still generate $20,000 in one week.
In a month that’s $80,000 you could make, let me repeat in words so you get it, eighty thousand dollars Barbados Dollarsin one month. Since I am not doing the Madd thing any more I could see that working for me..
Lewis stated that he had been in the sex trade for 25 years and it had been so lucrative that it had been hard for him to leave it, I don’t blame him for 25 years I have been telling jokes talking bout I is a comedian, the joke was on me, whoring is where the money is. No wonder it is known as the “oldest profession” and has been around for thousands of years

Charles spoke about his efforts to have the sex industry recognized as a legitimate profession; soon they’ll be no shame in aspiring to be a prostitute. You should soon be able to have evening classes in whoring-ism to make you good at it. (I would probably have to take one of those refresher courses)
Why bury your head in the sand and pretend sex tourism does not exist when you could be involved and be burying your head other places, finding other revenue generation activities you can do with your “head”.
For $80,000 per month I would take a stab at it at this whore thing, wouldn’t you? or I could get a couple of girls together and become  a sexual entrepreneur like Charles and join the Barbados Chamber of Commerce and thing.

Using Eddie Murphy’s 80’s sketch as inspiration a sex worker ad would probably read like this….

How would you like to make thousands of dollars with out leaving the comfort of your bedroom?

How would you like to meet new people and make new friends every night…?

This is your chance to make thousands of dollars for doing something you LIKE….

Why do it for free when you could do it and get paid for it?

Your chance to be somebody…

Be a Whore!…..

Sign up now at www.beawhore.com

Now if your girl friend catches you in the act you can now exclaim “what’s with you girl? can’t you see I am working!!”

 or “She meant nothing to me it was just work”…

I could just go on like this all day, I need to stop ….