Here are the official results of the 2008 Crop Over preliminaries sent to Boyce Voice from the NCF, those of you who think we are not friends are wrong, check the results….  

19 –PIC-O-DE CROP SEMI-FINALISTS 2008
All Stars   Adrian Clarke    Adrian Clarke
All Stars   Ronnie Clarke    De Announcer
Bacchanal Time  Charles Smith    Romeo
Bacchanal Time  William Waithe    Classic
Bacchanal Time  David Piggott    Kid Site
Bacchanal Time  Rameses Browne    Rameses
De Big Show  Anthony Carter    Gabby
De Big Show  John King     John King
De Big Show  Sheldon Hope    Sheldon Hope
De Big Show  Clairmonte Pilgrim   Pompey
Headliners   Anderson Armstrong   Blood
Headliners   Ishiaka McNeil    Ishiaka McNeil
House Of Soca  Jude Clarke     Hee Haw
Super Gladiators  Andre Inniss    Dre
Super Gladiators  Patricia Noel    Lady Isha
The Experience  Chrystal Cummins-Beckles  Chrystal
The Experience  Margaret Holder    Enobong
The Experience  Rommell Hall    Rommel
The Experience  Mathew Clarke    De Original Clarke Dan
Trimart Hit Parade Anderson Ward    Mr. Impact

19 – PARTY MONARCH FINALISTS 2008
TENT    NAME     SOBRIQUET
All Stars   Kimberley Inniss    Kimberley Inniss
All Stars   Miguel White    Miguel
Bacchanal Time  Khiomal Nurse    Khiomal
Bacchanal Time  Justin King     Justin King
Bacchanal Time  Donella Weekes    Donella
Bacchanal Time  Rameses Browne    Rameses
Bacchanal Time  Peter Wiggins    Peter Ram
De Big Show  Natalie Burke    Nathalee
De Big Show  Stedson Wiltshire    RPB
De Big Show  Terencia Coward-Thompson  T C
De Big Show  Ryan Chase     Buggy
De Big Show  Jafar Burnett-Burnett   Jafar
Headliners   Michael Mercer    Mikey
Headliners   Anderson Armstrong   Blood
Headliners   Dale Rudder    Mr. Dale
House Of Soca  Jude Clarke and Owen John  Hee Haw & Dragon Slayer
House of Soca  Daniel Borman    Jimmy Dan
House of Soca  Owen John     Dragon Slayer
Tomorrow’s Children Jamar Bradshaw    Jay-B

Reigning Monarch
Headliners   Ricky Reid     Lil’ Rick

RESERVE
De Big Show  Elenza Brewster    Serenader

Admiral MC Nelson

Mac Fingall, Trevor Eastmond and KB Kleen watch out!
I happen to catch a piece of Admiral Nelson MCing “De Big Show” calypso tent this weekend and he was pretty damn excellent.
His joke delivery and comedic timing was impeccable.
Also impressive was his deportment from the time he stepped on the stage with his dazzling white suit he made a statement.
A statement he verbalised when he told the audience they would not miss Mac Fingall because “the Admiral was here”.

As you would know Admiral Nelson is more known for his “Festival Stage” radio show, where his acerbic and critical tongue has been used on many a calypso tent.
He would therefore know that if he were to make a mistake and not be a good mc, he would have had hell to pay. So he had no choice but to come up to the mark.

You would have seen Admiral as an MC for the Banks Cable and Wireless Vintage Cavalcades where he more dispensed historical calypso information with little jokes. But last night he made his intro with a comedic commentary on the different kind of sex people have in their kitchen bathroom and bedroom and established an immediate connection to the audience. It appeared most of the people there had engaged in sex at some time or the other and knew what he was talking about.

Admiral stated it was his objective to host the calypso finals and if his performance in “De Big show” is any thing to go by, that could easily be a reality.

Eric Lewis from Madd brought this one to my attention. In the newspaper last weekend an ad for a born again Christian singers ONLY calypso competition. I have been told by the NCF CEO that I am sorta slow. So some times I need help figuring stuff out, and this Christian thing is one of them.

As I recall we allow Christians to enter our “Sinful” Pic o de Crop competition. We allow Christians to have their own “Experience Tent” and participate in Crop Over. But Since the Christians are laying down stipulations that you must be born again to enter their own Calypso competitions, maybe we need to put some in ours as well.

So in order to participate in the Pic o de Crop “sin”competition you must qualify by providing evidence of at least two extramarital affairs and must have had a confirmed curse out with somebody over the last 6 months. Also at some point in your life you must have done at least some shop lifting.

I do not think these criteria would omit anyone who currently participates so it should be no problem. If the Christians have stipulations in their competitions it is only fair that we should reciprocate. What do you think?

Did you hear the CEO of the NCF on the radio the other day? He was trying to convince the public some how that local acts cost more than the foreign acts the National Cultural Foundation (NCF) bring in. I am becoming tired with writing blogs posts calling NCF liars and I am sure by now you should be bored reading them. When you try to give the impression that local artistes could cost more than Trini and Jamaican acts, that is such a asinine* statement that I do not even feel like addressing it. (*Word should be ass-inine with emphasis on ass).

I want to focus on how pathetic it is when the NCF CEO could be heard on radio at the end of a Crop Over Festival attacking the same cultural stake holders he is supposed to be working with. The CEO has been dropping remarks against Lil Rick’s management. Krosfah had to defend themselves from remarks he made, and he had it ding dong with band Jabae over fees at the start of Crop Over.

One of the remarks the CEO dropped on the radio was that Batman¹ has just two tent members, just mentioned that point for no reason at all.
Allow me to send him a Boyce response: “Who gives a rat’s ass!” Two tents which speak make more noise than ten who are silent. I am only one man and look how much trouble I cause your ass so what’s the point?

It is becoming embarrassing for the government to have a NCF CEO that instead of fostering good relations with stake holders, spends time engaged in squabbles and dropping nasty remarks on radio. The NCF CEO needs to elevate himself and leave the harlot bombastic behavior to whores like me and Archiebull Cox. When the NCF CEO speaks, the government speaks! And according to what we are hearing right now the government wants war with cultural industries, which I find to be interesting considering that this is a year they are expecting the same entertainers to vote for them.
Enuff said (got that from the bounce a fire person)

Did you find that I dropped remarks in the writing of this blog post? Like I said in the title, “I am a whore!”

¹ Barbados Association of Tent Managers

I felt the need to redeem my self after writing all the cursing blogs and saucy stuff like Deep Throat vs. De Sauce. So I decided to redeem my self by visiting the Experience tent. That’s like going to church but a calypso church. I had a break in Bacchanal Time’s  schedule and so I decided to experience the Experience tent. For those of you who might not know, Experience is a tent that does religious type calypsos only, their motto is “Representing God in Culture”.

Experience tent was quite a change from what I was accustomed to. When the MC talks about using your mouth for something they mean to shout or talk. When they talk about going home to something “hot”, they mean a “hot” cup of tea. And when they say “Jesus Christ” they say it in praise and not because they are vexed with somebody and swearing. When they talk about eating in experience they actually mean eating for real, I mean like in eating food and I mean real food¹.

I ended up sitting next to a woman with an ear splitting shriek who responded enthusiastically to almost all the performers, which caused me to be deaf in one ear but I guess I was being made deaf for the Lord so that was cool. The same lady however blessed me when I sneezed, so I tried to sneeze a lot ’cause you know I need a lot of blessing with the sinful controversial life I am living.The young lady was so energetic at one point she almost knocked out my eye waving a flag for the Lord. I guess if I had lost an eye for the Lord that that would have been cool too.

The performers who impressed me ….

Calypsonian Apache (who looks like Jesus or what Jesus looks like in pictures) sang a song about “taking back” the society from the evil people like you reading this blog. That was good. Apache also did a number that had the audience screaming for more, he was like the religious Lil Rick of the tent in terms of response. I understand he was a dub artiste before he saw the light and he is now using his “Experience” for the Lord.

“Rommel” who performed an impactful number entitled Apcalypso about a battle between “Satan vs. Jesus”. That calypso was so hard then. Kareen Clarke was good too she was like a religious Alison Hinds. She really passionately performed a song that brought the crowd to their feet. Another Lady performed a number we need to get Back to the Master that was also outstanding. I forgot to write down her name though; you think I am Ricky Jordan or something?

They had their own party songs which did not mention conch or sauce or wukking up and when they sang about living water and they did not mean Guinness. They meant like holy water. Sammi J did an infectious closing number about Pointing Your Finger.

Oh and did I mention I was challenged? Yeah. At one point the lucid and energetic MC made the challenge from the stage, Peter Boyce, Experience Tent is challenging Bacchanal Time to a clash. It was like the voice of the Lord was talking to me and I was scared, “Bacchanal Time vs. Experience Tent” Hmm what do you think? I make it a point never to go up against anyone who has the Lord on their side, that’s why I stick to opposing NCF.

In Summary however my Experience experience was a good experience. They should get a lot of people in the semi finals, however some one from Bacchanal Time will still win! (You know I must plug myself)

^{1. Must clarify this as MADD has a song comparing women to food named Looka de Food on Some Like It Hott 1997 album. Now available on Madd’s Greatest Hits!}