This morning at 9.30 is will be the funeral of Rolland Stephen.
Rolland was an entertainer who contributed quite a number of years to the industry.
I had known him as the manager of the musical band Axis for quite a number of years. In the era of the 80’s and 90’s Axis was one of the popular attractions, which packed venues across Barbados including the Ship Inn.
Axis featured people like Ian Allyene, Carol Ann Scantlebury, Ray Armstrong and Kim Derrick to name a few.
One of the first entertainment events I ever put together featured this group. Back in 1994 I organized a show/fete at a Club in Christ Church and I would have worked with Roland then.

What I did not know was that also a member of that famous Bajan group “The Dynamics”, of Wendy Allyene and the Dynamics fame. He has therefore left a perennial mark and made a valuable contribution to our music Industry.
That’s why tonight at the Ship Inn in St Lawrence Gap some of the same names mentioned above reunite for a special benefit concert entitled “Axis through the years”.
Carol Ann Scantlebury with whom as you know I am quite affiliated has come back to Barbados for this special event.
And when was the last time you saw Ray Armstrong on stage? Not since his days with Krosfyah right? Well for one night only you can see the entire original Axis crew doing all the back in time tunes from the 80’s and 90’s.
Also guest stars like Gabby, Gillo Blood and more. Special appearance by the band Masala.
Proceeds from this event will go towards Roland’s three daughters, your contribution will only be $20.00 so come out and participate, I’ll be there looking for you at this musical Tribute to entertainer Roland Stevens who passed away last week; May he rest in peace…..

Whoa, Its Raining cats and dogs today, but lets forget the dogs and focus on the cats…

look at that little black pussy cat above, isn’t it cute? who would think that liking a little pussy cat could end you up in before the law courts. 

A cat loving friend of mine catmailed me and asked if for their catty edification if I could republish my “very pussy story” that i did some time ago as these are some very catty times we are living in..

 and in my cat loving eagerness decided to oblige, so click on below link with your paw..

a very pussy story

Once upon a time cats were bitten now they are the “biteys”, above is a pussy cat biting a person’s foot, would you let a cat bite you? you have got to be careful with your foot around a cat

Cats were once very docile creatures now every where you look its a cat attack, here’s a cat attacking a dog, thats quite a cat kick…! must be a kung Fu Cat

Heres a cat slapping another cat, WHAPAX! thats quite a slap for a little cat

The thing is men like cats and women like cats but few people are afraid to say, Ian Bourne is a self confessed cat lover he has even put a picture of it on the web, that’s how much he loves his cat.

I read a news story on the net this week, where a firefighter give mouth to mouth resuscitation to a cat to bring it back to life, afterwards he said, “it tasted like fur!” Now we all know what a cat taste like, unless you knew from before.. did you? maybe the cats got your tongue…

In an attempt to prove that I am not intellectually challenged let’s deal with a topic with some political intrigue.

So today instead of Boyce Voice we will be “Boyce Underground”, that’s a totally original name I just came up with.

Have you been hearing about the scenario where the opposition leader Basdeo Panday was banned from the Trinidad sitting of parliament for using a laptop computer while parliament was in session.

I have never heard such igrunce yet; imagine banning a minister from official business for looking using a computer.
As a man who is addicted to using technology myself that is bare c***!
You know how much time I spend at meetings looking in black berries, palms and computers engaged in activity related to the same meeting. 

The speaker of that house needs to be informed we now live in a technologically advanced world
where instead of writing things on paper people now use computers; panday could easily have been preparing his speech for later presentation. 

What you are reading now was written using my black berry, I hardly ever write and the few times I have people tell me my handwriting is atrocious. So I have learnt to use the technology so people understand what I am trying to say.

Enough about you Peter, back to Panday, now they are saying in order for him to enter parliament and participate in the up coming national budget debate, he must apologisé for using the computer, that’s another bunch of c***.

Panday is being forced to apologisé for being technologically advanced. I know Panday is not no sweet bread, but in this case we should see his position.

You would think in a country like Trinidad where the crime rate is so high that members of parliament would have much more to occupy their time than stopping an old guy from using a computer.
*Crap

I was talking to 2 female friends recently, and they were lamenting the fact that in the average work place men are paid more money than women for doing the same job.
A woman doing a job with the same qualifications and experience as a man would take home less money, doesn’t that strike you as a tad unfair? Isn’t that like sexual discrimination?

Mention of sex brings me to my Boyce point for today, one profession for sure where women are paid more than men than men is the Porn industry.
Boyce sacrificed all one of his morals and did investigations for you on the subject of how much more women in the porn industry were paid in contrast to men and the difference was a astounding.
The average male porn star gets $300 to $400 a scene or $100 to $200 if he is new, it is even said there are some men who do it for free.
A woman on the other hand gets a whopping $100,000 to $250,000 a year which is pretty damn impressive.

So there are women like Jenna Jameson is a multi millionaire all from porn, Tera Patrick who now owns her own porn company which generates over 30 million dollars per year
Maria Takagi from Japan who makes $86,000 per film and the list of highly paid porn women go on.
And we men get a mere $400 per scene and some even do it FOR FREE. Men reading this should feel like dogs then. I think the fee that a porn man is paid is “hard on” a man considering that he has the “hard” job of maintaining one, and infront of hot lights and cameras, that can’t be easy.
I think the message being sent here is vaginas are worth more than penises so a man taking his clothes off ent saying nothing but a woman? now yuh talking!

I have noticed how ever that the fact that female porn stars are paid more than men is not herald with any great celebration by the feminists of this world, female porn stars have managed to “break the glass ceiling” as it relates to pay and it should be recognized.

Boyce Disclaimer; Do not feel that because I wrote about “be a whore” last week and now “Porn Star Pay” that I am encouraging persons to enter that industry, by all means stick to your 9 to 5  $2000 per month job. you might not be the richest person but a better person

I wanted to put up pictures of porn stars with this but Darron needs to fix my picture upload thing..

Who will take over when the tall philipian goes to crack jokes in beyond the pearly gates?
Have you ever thought of that?
Well I am inviting you to think about it now; your brain is not busy! Who will be the next person to step into Mac Fingall’s shoes when he is gone?
Not only is there a dearth of comedians in Barbados but there is a dearth of people aspiring to be comedians, which is sad.
Nobody wants to make people laugh.

Think bout it, who do we have that is funny in Barbados?
(I mean funny ha ha)
There’s Trevor Eastmond accomplished comedian who has been around for a number of years. He is known for his colorful language. Then you have Alf who has been making a name for himself performing in the Crop Over Cavalcades.
Then there’s Mr. Kb Kleen, again another comedian/Mc who is known for operating mainly during Crop Over specifically in Bacchanal Time.
And then There’s Mac Fingall, Mac is considered the maestro of mc/comedians in Barbados. His busy performance schedule not only in Barbados but internationally is testimony to his talent and how much in demand he is.

Then there’s Madd Entertainment who is known for situation comedy skits.After you go past the above mentioned entities that just about it.! Did I miss anybody?

Oh yeah, Jenifer walker is another good comedic talent but she only MC’s every once in a while.
My point is 25 years ago the persons who dominated the comedy scene are the same people who reign now.
And the person who stands head and shoulders above all is Mac.
We are hard pressed to identify a successor to Mac; every one wants to be a freaking singer no one wants to make people laugh.
I am not talking about the political public figures that make people laugh at microphones without intending to I mean real potential comedy talent.
Maybe NCF needs to start having comedy work shops in schools to identify new talent, and have Trevor Mac and KB develop teach and pass on their skills so that our dearth of comedy can be filled.

Hey, speaking of dearth of talent reminds me of my self,

I am a bit of comedian too myself, “There is a dearth of talent in the void of my brain” I want to be known for saying that….

Boyce is out…..

here comes the Bride

Here Comes the Bride…

Etc etc

You probably got scared when you read the above title, and thought Boyce voice was taking over from “Dear Christine” and becoming a marriage counselor.
But for the edification of readers female especially, I thought I would blog about the perceptions men have of marriage in contrast to women’s.

For women the entire concept of marriage is an event of great jollification and jubilation, for men its apprehension and uncertainty.

The difference starts from the engagement.
When a woman gets engaged its joy joy joy to the world for both her and her girlfriends are excited too “lemme see the ring” they exclaim “ooh that’s beautiful…it looks expensive!” and they say that like its a good thing.

When a man tells us buddies he is getting married the first response is”oh? are you sure?” and theres the tone of uncertaincy that dominates the conversation, we dont get excited and start jumping up and down.

We don’t view the expensive engagement ring with any great joy either because we have to buy it.
(Why do you need an engagement ring anyway why can’t you just give one wedding ring and call that a day?)

Men’s true perception of marriage is reflected in the nick names they have for the event , “getting hitched” that does not sound like a good thing. on the day of wedding we say our buddy “gine down” today, that term could also be used at a funeral like “gine down” in a hole. You see my point?
The last and most damming proof of a mans perception of marriage is the term his friend is going to get his “neck pop” today, I believe that is what happens when you are hung by the neck untill dead.
I could rest my case here but I wouldn’t.
(Whispering font) Boyce voice will continue more on marriage at a later date, wifey just came in so I must log off before she sees this……

Happy Birthday to Michael Jackson

Happy birthday Happy Birthday

happy Birthday to Michael Jackson

Believe it or not today 29th August is Michael Jackson’s Birthday!

What I find strange is there is no mention of it on the MSN home page, I discovered it reading an obscure article on BBC Mobile.
It does not seem as much attention is being paid to Jackson as say Maddona who celebrated her 50th last week and it was all over the media.
So while the main stream media seems to be ignoring MJ he still has a friend in Boyce Voice we as are heralding his half century birthday achievement.

Lets focus on the positive contributions he has made, his top selling album “Thriller” which sold over 65 million copies world wide according to the Guinness book or records

The 14 minute ground breaking cutting edge “Thriller” video which revolutionized the music video industry.

You know sometimes you meet some one you have not seen for a while and they’ve changed so dramatically you almost don’t recognize them, well Michael happen to change his nose, hair and skin colour as he aged, lets go to some pictures…

Here’s Michael in 1975 in the Jackson Five days, has a really cool afro and thing

Here’s Michael in 1978 releasing “Off the Wall” album

Michael in 1984 with his best Friend “Bubbles” the monkey (Thats where Bubbles from Hott 95.3 got his name from) Bubbles has a matching shirt thats so cute, and thats a big dog! his skin is glowing in a white kind of way

From the 1987 “Bad” tour his skin has changed and so has his nose, the pressures of entertainment do that too you

Michael looks pretty effiminate in this 1995 pic, its like he is going for a white black man woman look, thats what you call targeting all the marketing demographics

Here is Michael on the cover of his 2001 flop album “Invincible” it probably flopped cause people did not recognise him on the cover, its a sort of Peter Pan type bullerish picture

The only thing which has remained constant about MJ is his voice, even at 50 he still talks like a six year old girl…. Here’s the last picture Brace your self its pretty brutal

Ok, so what can you say about this picture aah, well it  definitely would make the girls scream I’ll tell you that, and probably some men as well, plus some little boys.

This was Jacko’s mug shot when he was arrested by the police in 1993, guess the law men didn’t let him put his make up on before they took him, the picture is not pretty and neither were the charges, he looks like he could play the Joker in the next Batman movie.

 About those child molestation accusations which have dogged MJ’s career, it was not helped by his statement “I don’t see any thing wrong with sharing my bed with children”
Normal people frown on that sort of thing Jacko, in fact you are usually put on a sex offenders monitoring list and scorned by the society.
 He is known as The Peter Pan of Pop, Wacko Jacko, The Gloved One. the unforgettable the Michael Jackson, still most known as “The King of Pop”! Happy Birthday to you

Read in the weekend paper of Barbadian sexual entrepreneur Charles Lewis talking about the amount of money you can make in the sex trade.
The figures caught my interest; I was thinking I was in the wrong entertainment business.
Charles boasted how a sex worker can make $500 per hour, let’s do the sexual math.
Put that into a working day, that’s $4000. Let’s say you only work 5 days (or nights) you still go to church on Sunday and spend a day with the family you still generate $20,000 in one week.
In a month that’s $80,000 you could make, let me repeat in words so you get it, eighty thousand dollars Barbados Dollarsin one month. Since I am not doing the Madd thing any more I could see that working for me..
Lewis stated that he had been in the sex trade for 25 years and it had been so lucrative that it had been hard for him to leave it, I don’t blame him for 25 years I have been telling jokes talking bout I is a comedian, the joke was on me, whoring is where the money is. No wonder it is known as the “oldest profession” and has been around for thousands of years

Charles spoke about his efforts to have the sex industry recognized as a legitimate profession; soon they’ll be no shame in aspiring to be a prostitute. You should soon be able to have evening classes in whoring-ism to make you good at it. (I would probably have to take one of those refresher courses)
Why bury your head in the sand and pretend sex tourism does not exist when you could be involved and be burying your head other places, finding other revenue generation activities you can do with your “head”.
For $80,000 per month I would take a stab at it at this whore thing, wouldn’t you? or I could get a couple of girls together and become  a sexual entrepreneur like Charles and join the Barbados Chamber of Commerce and thing.

Using Eddie Murphy’s 80’s sketch as inspiration a sex worker ad would probably read like this….

How would you like to make thousands of dollars with out leaving the comfort of your bedroom?

How would you like to meet new people and make new friends every night…?

This is your chance to make thousands of dollars for doing something you LIKE….

Why do it for free when you could do it and get paid for it?

Your chance to be somebody…

Be a Whore!…..

Sign up now at www.beawhore.com

Now if your girl friend catches you in the act you can now exclaim “what’s with you girl? can’t you see I am working!!”

 or “She meant nothing to me it was just work”…

I could just go on like this all day, I need to stop ….

“I do agree, however, that there are certain Crop-Over events which lend themselves to this sort of partnering. Cohobblopot is one good example of this, and it is certainly my hope that next year we can have enough time to invite tenders for the staging of this potentially lucrative event.” Quote from Minister of Culture Steve Blackett at 2008 Crop Over Awards Ceremony

Yeah right, where have we heard that before..

While the Ministry of culture speaks of out sourcing Cohobblopot their words and actions don’t add up.

Not taking into consideration their failure to operate above board as it relates to entertaining bids for the Cohobblopot this year, at the launching of the same event it was stated by the cultural administrators they had a 3 year plan for organising the event. That does not correspond to the minister’s statement they intend to out source it.

The question will be asked why would the government give up an event that is profitable when it can generate revenue for it self at the expense of private promoters.
While from the outside cohobblopot 2008 appeared to be successful the question must be asked will that “success” equate to profits?  
We have been hearing of excessive sums of monies that were spent including those on regional and international acts.
We have been hearing how $40,000 was paid to Brian Lara to host the VIP area at the event plus a commission from the door, When it came to Cohobblopot 2008 the regional people can’t complain at all.
All the pay outs kick backs and expenses that we have been hearing about we await to see in the final analysis exactly how profitable Cohobblopot really will be.
As for the minister’s statement of privatisation, with out action behind them they remain mere empty words, lacking in credibility, sincerity or legitimacy.

The B in Batman does not stand for bakes…

I learnt that the hard way when I went in de theatre this week, or for international readers I went to the cinema, here in Barbados we call going to the cinema going in de theater (or theatha).   
But I digress, back to my point.
I went to the Olympus cinema concession snack bar before and decided to take a chance and order my favorite bajan snack,
So I gave my order to the cute female attendant  “I would like to have a large pop corn a small coke and ……ahm  3 bakes!…” 

“3 wha?” the attendant exclaimed looking at me like I was the joker in the Batman movie I was going to see. 

“Bakes” I responded “B.A.K.E.S bakes” I spelt it out for her so it would be crystal clear what I desired.

“I am sorry sir we don’t sell bakes here, do you want a hot dog or some Nachos?”.

I don’t even know what the ass is a nacho, I did feel like cursing she and introducing her to a Bajan word that starts with “R”, but I controlled my self.

“I don’t want no stinking nachos” I retorted “ I want bakes!
by this time my sons who I had taken to the cinema had move away not wanting to be associated with my vociferous bake behaviour.
I contemplated asking to see the manager but by this time I could see security beginning assemble around me, I did not get the impression they were there for to assist me in my ordering.

 So I had a decision to make…
The question I asked my self was, should I stand up for my bake principles risked being unceremoniously thrown out the cinema not seeing Batman, being disowned by my sons rebuked by my Christian wife or should I eat the stinking Americanized snack like a wimp….?    

Well I gotta tell yuh, the hot dog went down pretty good, and the coca cola too. 
I put extra bajan pepper sauce on it to Barbadianise it…

That’s how I discovered the B in Batman does not stand for bakes!

Boyce Gripe;I think we have a serious cultural problem when you go to the concession at the movies and can’t get a Bajan snack.
Yuh cant get a glass of mauby just bare fizzy drinks mashing up yuh stomach and giving yuh ulcers.
You can’t get a cheese cutter, years ago I remember buying cheese cutters in the Bridgetown Olympic cinema, dem days done!
They now even now selling Chinese food in the Olympus like we in BEJING, but yuh can’t get a bake.
That’s why so much of we Bajans talking like Americans because of all the American food we eating.
It is because of all the American and Chinese food they keep forcing on us that are making us lose our cultural identity and run slow and got the West Indies can’t win at Cricket. This is a matter that needs to be addressed with utmost bake-ency!